Thoughts of a Sinner Saved by Grace

autumn’s song…

autumn's song by Silence and Chaos I’m awakened by the morning sun creeping through my blinds.
my hands caress my face over my eyes to fight the light.
my legs massage the ruffled sheets as I turn over to hide from the light.
my eye’s are greeted by the soft light that cascades across her face.
I smile.
my limbs graze across the bed and drunking-ly find their way to the floor.
the cold wood floors send a chill up my spine as my feet shutter at their greeting.
I sit and stare into the bathroom for a moment and allow the remnants of sleep to linger.
my eyes refuse to adjust to the glare off the mirror sink.
I reach for a t-shirt draped across the bottom of the bedpost.
I put on my socks with rulers stamped onto both sides and head for the kitchen.
the light from the kitchen window stretches across the floor into the foyer.
I clumsily reach into the white cabinet for a coffee cup.
i press the power button on the Keurig.
I popped in the K-cup and I wait.
the coffee drips and the aroma is morning.
I lift the cup up to the light of the window to see the steam.
i exhale
I walk towards the front door and stare into the yard
I look up and acknowledge the tree has began to change.
i exhale
I reach down to pick up a leaf and admire the details.
every vein.
every point.
the gradient.
I take a sip of my coffee and I place it on the ground.
I reach for my phone and focus it on the cup.
i snap
I look up into the tree and say a silent “thank you”.
I walk back into the house and down the hall. coffee in hand…

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Sunday Tunes: Bryan & Katie Torwalt

Bryan And Katie Torwalt | Silence And Chaos

Bryan & Katie Torwalt are relatively new to the CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) world and their music is nothing short of a breath of fresh air. Katie’s voice a soulful quake of praise-filled melodies that you can’t help but to get lost in. Bryan’s voice contrasting in rich tenor tones that support Katie’s qualities to a tee, together they are a powerhouse and I can’t wait to see how God uses them to do his will in the kingdom. I accidentally stumbled upon their music when ‘Nothing Holding Me Back’ came on my Jesus Culture station via Pandora, which is a track form their freshman album ‘Here On Earth’. And I haven’t stopped listening since, always in anticipation to hear something new. So it goes without saying that I will be purchasing their new album, Kingdom Come, and recommend that you do the same if you are a fan of such bands as Jesus Culture, Hillsong United, Gungor, or JJ Heller. I know that you will absolutely love everything that Bryan & Katie Torwalt are. Here are some of my favorite tracks from them and a link for you to listen to them live. Its the perfect beginning to an already blessed filled Sunday morning. After all, you’re alive.

Nothing Holding Me Back
I’m A Lover of Your Presence
I Breathe You In God
Glorius
Weight Of Glory
I Will Trust You
He Is The Light

And here is the link to watch them perform some of their freshman album and their new album live. I highly recommend clearing your schedule and grabbing a cup of coffee, you won’t want to miss a second of it.

I want to be yours…

Abandoned Home I’ve always been a dreamer. I can’t tell you when it started or if it will ever end, but I can tell you that right now, in this space–I still dream. I get lost in foggy mornings and rainy days on a regular basis. The smell of rain has to be one of the most intoxicating things I believe you can experience. I’m not sure why anyone does drugs. I’m not sure why we don’t love life more and take in all the ‘little’ things. Have you ever stopped and listened to yourself breathing? Every inhalation is a divinely crafted push of air from God to you. Take a moment and run your finger from your palm to your shoulder blade and notice how the feeling changes–its so subtle and yet so magnificent that I tend to get goosebumps. What is this? All these beautiful things that God has created and yet I neglect Him daily, I pray less instead of more. When life gives me lemons–I cry in the silence about things I can’t control and I refuse to believe that He will free me from these burdens. How is it, I can be so ungrateful to a God who’s continually covering me in grace?

When I think about the honor it was to grow up in a Christian home where I learned the Bible and drank God’s word on a regular basis–I feel so blessed. But when I think about how far removed I am from it and how I can barely recollect many scripture verses, my heart weeps with discontent. I find myself wanting to exchange literature of poets and lyrics of musicians for that of scripture. Why, have I become so lost in these wordily things and forget about my maker until I’m knee deep back in sin?

I pray that God have mercy upon my soul and lead back to where He and I were in constant fellowship. I pray that he would restore in a heart that yearns to learn more about Him without hesitance. I pray that He would consume me and lead me to drink from the well of life once more, to leave behind the things of this of world in exchange for the love of heaven. I want to be more like Him. I want to see people as he sees people. I want to love people as He loves people. Dear God, I want to be yours whole-heartedly without condition. I simply want to be yours.

What’s the point?

First things first.  Why ‘Silence and Chaos’?

Well, I have always felt as though ‘silence and chaos’ was the greatest way to describe the world I lived in without being too poetic or trying too hard to be ‘deep’. Silence is where I typically  felt as though God spoke to me the most while I always felt consumed by the chaos in my daily life. And I don’t mean to mislead you ‘Chaos’ is a strong word to use. But it the most accurate description for how I felt the most.

In this more or less journal of my life. We will be covering such topics and questions like. Do you have a hard time understanding people? The world around you? Events that take place from day to day. Those seen and unseen happening as you carry that latte in one hand and people magazine in the other.

I’ve been compelled to bring you thoughts on those very happenings and the way I feel about them. Is that all this blog is about? Well, no there will be plenty of randomness, pop culture, politics, some poetry, rants about life and culinary conundrums to fill in the gaps. But my purpose is to bring a new light to the things maybe we don’t tend to discuss because it makes us uneasy, feel out of place or we believe that no one cares. I encourage constructive criticism to any postings, ignorant comments or the blabberings of a fool. Spread the word and enjoy.

I bring you Silence and Chaos.